Superwoman. Super powers.

How does one define a Superwoman?  There are as many answers to that as there are original "Superwomen."  As a woman who grew up during the "Quiet Revolution" Superwomen were everywhere for me.  Women could bring home the bacon; fry it up in a pan.  Women could go to college and be something other than a teacher or a nurse.  Women could get married, have children AND work.  This was very different from the usual path for women in the generations before me.  Despite that I still had excellent role models.  My Mom, who went to school to be a teacher, worked in her field for one year.  She raised three children, did the books, marketing and much more for my Dad's business.  She went back to work once her youngest was well established in school and now has her Master's and works in a male-dominated field.  Successfully.

Her Mom was a typical Stay At Home Mom of the 40s until she was able to find a job in retail.  She was extremely successful in that role.  When that job was eliminated in the late 80s she began volunteering for an organization and did so well for the group they hired her on staff.  She still has the letter she received from the President of that organization when she retired (a second time).  My Mom and her Mom did it all.  Raised a family, managed the house and worked.  There were no boards, no social media to help them through their potty crisis.  Or their “my boss sucks” crisis.  They worked.  They cleaned. They cooked.  They loved. 

When I got married in 1995 I knew I wanted to have a family. Fairly soon.  But I was in the middle of building an extremely successful career in a male-dominated field.  I traveled.  I rode in limos.  I ate at the best restaurants (too much).  I took care of our apartment.  And nodded at the finances once in awhile.  I thought about how on earth I was going to have kids and keep up this schedule.  And if I didn't keep up the schedule what was I going to do?  How would I help support our family if I didn't continue on this path?

God and life had a very different plan for me.  Infertility took us down a very different road.  And I was able to keep my career moving forward while we tried for a family.

In 2002 I took the big leap and went freelance.  Permanently.  For anyone who has grappled with this decision it is exciting and terrifying all in one breath.  It was the best decision I made.  And I of course can say that with full confidence as I have been on the other side for 8 years now.

When I made the jump there were no children.  My risk was fairly low.  Would I do the same thing, now with kids?  I'm not sure I would.  

I have been a Work-at-Home Mom (WAHM) since 2005.  I hate that term.  To me work-at-home implies that if you don't have a career that you are not working at home.  Any stay-at-home Mom will tell you, loudly, this is very, very untrue.  But balancing a career at home with your stay-at-home duties is challenging.  When you are working, you feel guilty for not spending time with the kids.  When you are with the kids, the beep of your Blackberry makes you wonder what is going on with work. 

So how do you find the balance?  If you work at home, in addition to working at home, how do you do it?  How much time are you able to put in?  Do you have child care, or is Dora your babysitter?  Do you work during the day or only at night?  And if you work at night how does it affect your life with your spouse?

I'd love to hear your take on this.

Are you a Super Woman with a side kick?

Six weeks ago my oldest daughter (Bean) began kindergarten. It was so exciting! And emotional. She has been my side kick for the past five years. And to think about not spending every minute with her made me sad. As we waited for the bus her emotions went from excited to nervous so many times I lost track. It didn't help that the bus was about 25 minutes late. It was adorable to watch the energy that came from her. Booper (our youngest at 14 months) and I gave her a hug and kiss and sent her on her way to the glorious land of Kindergarten.

Booper is at that age where she is into everything. Climbing everything. Eating everything. Climbing everything. Did I mention climbing everything already? There isn't a lot of sitting. Or reading. Or playing. It is just climbing. I had hoped to sign us up for a Little Gym or Gymboree class, but I can't find any offered during the time that would work for us. Not to mention the cost. I want to do some things at the library but those are in the morning too. We've been using our time together to play/climb, errand run and nap. A combination of all three of those.

Bean was very different. She loved books. At an early age. We would read books for hours. Over and over and over again. Booper is just beginning to show an interest in books. But normally it is two pages and she is done.

As I have been told many times, again and again, no two children are the same. And while I have some Super Woman tricks up my sleeve, I am still trying to figure out this new schedule. I've never had all of this alone time with Booper. I am relishing it.

So what do you do with your side kick when your other kids are off to school?

Cut the crap!

Last week I turned 40. It came and went just like any other birthday. Some nice gifts, a yummy cake and a super big hug from my daughter. It was awesome in its simplicity.

Every new year (as in calendar new year) I like to reflect on the past year. And try to set some goals (ie resolutions) for the coming new year. I got tired of my grand ideas always fizzling out and celebrating another year without having fulfilled the last year's resolution. So I stopped doing it.

Instead I decided my birthday was a good day to reflect on the past year. To reassess what was working and what wasn't. To look at where I am going. To decide where I want to be and how that compares to where I am. And for an added bonus this year, I decided to theme it. "Cut the crap!" is what I came up with. Catchy, no? It helps if you use a Rochester accent to say the word "Craaaaaaap." :)

It works on so many levels for me this year. I need to "cut the crap" out of my food. I need to "cut the crap" and just exercise. I need to "cut the crap" and declutter my home before it implodes. I need to "cut the crap" and decide whether a work-at-home-mom career is really working for me. I need to "cut the crap" and get serious about our finances. I need to "cut the crap" and find some time for me.

In other, less crass words, I need to simplify. The past ten years of overindulgence are beginning to take a toll. On all of the things I listed and more.

For those of you who are new to Superwoman Simplified I am a former-blogger - I wrote for five years at the now defunct painted-turtle.com. I blogged before people knew what blogs were. I met friends online nine years ago that I still stay in touch with today. Blogging was good for my soul. And so I decided that as I take this journey of cutting the crap, I wanted a place to reflect and capture. This is my new place. This is my new life. This is the new me. Superwoman Simplified.

Are you a Superwoman too? Come hang your cape for a little bit. Enjoy a cup of coffee (preferred drink around here) or tea (better for the soul) and let's just chat about how we can simplify this Superwoman job.